Anon
(c.1750)

Balance a straw
(Song)
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Theatre song whose tune was adopted by several Morris traditions.
Lyrics: Tobias Smollett

From the man whom I love, though my heart I disguise,
I will freely describe the wretch I despise;
And if he has sense but to balance a straw
He will sure take the hint from the picture I draw.

A wit without sense, without fancy a beau,
Like a parrot he chatters, and struts like a crow;
A peacock in pride, in grimace a baboon,
In courage a hind, in conceit a gascoon.
A peacock in pride, in grimace a baboon,
In courage a hind, in conceit a gascoon.

As a vulture rapacious, in falsehood a fox,
Inconstant as waves, and unfeeling as rocks:
As a tiger ferocious, perverse as a hog,
In mischief an ape, and in fawning a dog.
As a tiger ferocious, perverse as a hog,
In mischief an ape, and in fawning a dog.

In a word, to sum up all his talents together,
His heart is of lead, and his brain is of feather:
Yet, if he has sense but to balance a straw,
He will sure take a hint from the picture I draw.
Yet, if he has sense but to balance a straw,
He will sure take a hint from the picture I draw.